


Indomitable Will

by corgi_galaxy



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-03-10 23:21:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3307058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corgi_galaxy/pseuds/corgi_galaxy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Johanna had to kill what was left of her family and run away from the only life she knew. The Dixon's made a promise to watch over her and make sure she was alive till the bitter end. With their journey comes anguish, sacrifice, and the indomitable will to survive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I'm new to this website but not new to writing fanfiction! I really appreciate you checking out my story and please feel free to comment! Enjoy and thanks again!

Chapter 1

“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” – Mahatma Ghandi

She’d always thought her brother would die in an obscure way. Being in a motorcycle gang seemed to solidify that for her. She knew he was always careful with whatever he did, but he would never let her in on the details and she couldn’t be sure. Ben was her best friend and her protector all of her life.

She never thought he would die like this.

He was holding onto his side and leaning against the wall of their house. She was constantly emptying out the bucket as he rambled and groaned in pain. She kept fighting back the tears as he fought his fate. But the darkness was approaching. She knew there was nothing to stop this now and that she would be alone to figure everything out and try not to die like he was at that moment. July would never be just fireworks and apple pie anymore, it would be the constant reminder of the time she let her big brother down.

She would be alone and it made her anxiety spike up to a whole new level. She didn’t want to be alone and she couldn’t handle being alone. Especially if being alone meant never seeing her brother again.

“Johanna” Ben rasped as he tried to stand up. She turned from the sink and hurried over to him. She slid to the ground and helped him up. “Couch…the couch.”

“Alright, Ben.”  She shushed. His tattooed arm went over her shoulders as she stood up and they wobbled over to the couch. She rested his head against the ratty pillow and she scooched the bucket to his side. “Just sit tight. We’ll figure everything out.”

“Jo-“

“We’ll be fine.” Her voice cracked. The bite in his side had gotten worse: darker, oozing with puss, and the infectious veins reaching through every corner of his body. She ran a hand through the same dark hair he had with her black polished nails.

“Don’t cry, lil’ girl, don’t cry.” He cooed. “You’re gonna be fine. You’re gonna live.” She shook her head and he cupped her cheek with his clean hand. She held it as hot tears ran into the cracks of his palm. “D’you know how strong you are?” When she didn’t answer, he sighed but then came into a coughing fit. She quickly brought up the bucket where he coughed up more blood. “Johanna Snow, you listen and you listen good. You’re so strong…so much stronger than you think you are. You _will_ make it. I don’t care how you do it, you will. You’re gonna be able to protect people-“ he coughed more and tears flowed freely down her face as she tried not to sob out loud. Blood stained the back cushion of the tan suede couch. “You’re gonna do good, lil’ girl.”

_*knock knock knock*_

The Snow’s looked at their door in confusion. Who on Earth would still be in town?

“Ben? Johanna?” A familiar voice asked. Johanna’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Dixon?” Ben rasped.

“Try two!” Merle yelled. Johanna looked at her brother and he nodded. She got up and quickly wiped away the tears. She unlocked all three locks before opening the door to see the notorious Dixon brothers that she had known since she was seventeen. “Ah, hell Snow.” Merle sighed in disbelief when he saw Ben.

“No…come on Ben.” Daryl pleaded as they walked over. Johanna crossed her arms and leaned against the wall.

“Are y’all alright?” She asked and Daryl looked back at her.

“Yeah, we’re fine.”

“Thought you were in the cell, brother?” Ben asked Merle but Merle just smiled.

“Got outta there.” Ben nodded at Merle, then looked back at Johanna.

“Leave us alone for a minute, Jo. I need to talk to them for a minute.” She stood there for a minute, but then obeyed her brother’s request and walked to her room. She paced back and forth and looked at the duffle bag that wasn’t even halfway full. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She forced herself to start packing, knowing she would have to leave soon. She grabbed all of her bathroom supplies that she needed, socks, underwear, shirts, jeans, shorts, shoes, jackets, anything she thought was necessary but not too excessive.

This was not how it was supposed to be. She should’ve been at work like any other day, not seeing her brother throw up his own guts. She wanted her job back, she wanted her friends back. She wanted a lot of things back, many things she had taken for granted.

“Johanna!” Merle called. She walked out of her room quietly and saw the brother standing near the door. “Ben wants to speak wit’ ya. We’ll be outside when ya need us.” She knew what was about to happen and there was no going back. She got down on her knees next to Ben and held his hand.

“Now, you’re gonna listen to me this last time. You’re gonna go with them, Jo. They’ll take care of you and you’ll take care of them. You can trust them, you know them.” She shook her head. It wasn’t because she didn’t trust the Dixons, in fact they were their closest family friends. “You gotta.”

“I can’t leave you.” She whispered. “Not like this.” They were quite for a long while until Ben spoke those three fateful words.

“Then end it.”

“Ben-“

“Please, Johanna.” He begged. “Just do it. I’m too weak to do it myself.”

“I can’t.” She finally sobbed. He looked up at her with his hazel eyes that were red with irritation from the virus creeping through his body. “No, you can’t die! Not like this! Please don’t leave me!” For the first time in her life, she saw her big brother, the tough biker, cry. He was silent, but blinded by the water in his eyes.

“Lil’ girl, just do it and end my sufferin’. You’d be askin’ me to do the same.” He pleaded. “You’re strong and you can do this. We’ve made it all these years just you and me and I’m so proud of you.” He looked over at his gun next to the television and she looked with him. “Don’t bury me. You need to leave as soon as you can. I’ve stalled you enough.” With a shaky hand, she reached over with her entire self to grab the revolver. It felt too heavy in her hands even though she had shot it before. The weight of the entire world seemed to be in her hands and there was nothing else she could do for her brother except this.

It had to end this way.

She sat on the couch with him and pressed the shaking barrel to his head. Her body racked with sobs as she looked him in the eyes. Her finger was loose on the cold trigger as she tried to muster up some final words.

“Thank you.” Was all she could say.

“I love you, lil’ girl.”

“I love you, Benny.” He closed his eyes and waited for his fate. She gritted her teeth together and focused all the energy she had to her finger, constantly reminding herself it was for the best.

_BAM_

His brains splattered against that ratty pillow and his head fell limp to the side. Her eyes were wide and her body was stiff with horror. Daryl and Merle ran in and froze at the sight. He had told them that he was going to ask her to do it. All Daryl and Merle had to do was look after her. They promised him that they would.

They heard her gasp a second before she cried and hugged Ben’s body.

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I’m so sorry, Benny…I’ll make you proud.”

Merle walked past and into her room to grab her bag. Daryl looked around the living room and pulled a small picture out of the frame and knelt down next to her. She looked up with a red face and took the picture of her and Ben at her college graduation. She folded it up and put it in her pocket.

“We need to go.” He told her and she nodded. She stood up and walked over to the truck. Daryl grabbed some food and water from the kitchen, then looked back at his dead friend. Merle looked as well and it was probably the only time he had ever seen that certain look on Merle’s face. Daryl couldn’t quite tell what it was, but it was sincere. Merle patted Daryl’s back and walked to his motorcycle. Daryl sighed and shook his head.  
“Sorry brother.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Johanna now in the Dixon Brothers' care, she learns what's become of the world and what's become of the people around her. With her new role, she takes initiative and becomes a negotiator when new people are encountered in a secluded area.

Johanna’s knees were tucked up to her chest and her bangs were flopping against her forehead as they traveled towards Atlanta. She had been silent, not so much as a sniff came from her. She didn’t talk to Daryl, the only other person in the car, and didn’t make a gesture towards Merle. Johanna was sure that Ben knew at least one person from his gang would come to help them out, he probably didn’t count on Merle Dixon to be one of them or his tag-along brother, Daryl. If anyone, she thought that their mother might show up before the Dixon brothers. While she had known the brothers for a while, she wasn’t entirely sure if this was their best idea. Sure, she could handle herself and Daryl wasn’t really her problem either. It was Merle. If he was to get out of control all hell would break loose. But Merle and Ben had been friends for years, she had to look on the bright side. She had known the brothers for years and never had a problem with Daryl. While he didn’t talk much, he still talked to her. Merle was more of the chatterbox and usually had some cool stories to tell.

The windows were down in the old truck and the sun had disappeared from the dreadful day. Merle was on his motorcycle scouting ahead while the other two were listening to the reports and urging people to go to the city. Daryl huffed, took his thumb away from his mouth, and punched off the radio.

“Turn that shit off.” He grumbled. Johanna side eyed him, but resumed her place and didn’t say a word. Her baseball bat rattled in the bed of the truck, her only silent weapon that the brothers made her take.

“How did you guys make it from the mountains?” She uttered.

“ _I_ did.” He corrected and she nodded. “Dad got bit, Uncle Jess got bit, got Merle, got you. Was hopin’ to get Ben too.” She looked down at the knobs of her knees and sighed. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” She lied. She knew Daryl and Merle were probably mad at her for letting Ben get bit, so she thought it was best if she kept quiet and stayed low for a while.

“What happened to him?”

“He was goin’ outside to try and see if anyone was alive. Maybe if anyone needed help. I guess our neighbor wasn’t himself.” She explained. “Daryl, why is this happenin’? How did this happen?” Daryl shook his head.

“Dunno.”

Daryl had never been very vocal. He would often come into a restaurant with Merle that Johanna worked at during her teenage years and summers to get some extra money and help Ben out with the bills. They were good customers and tipped well when she was their server. They always came for dinner and stayed for a couple of beers. Daryl didn’t have anything against Johanna. She was sweet, funny, she could hold her own, he considered her a friend…or at least a friend of a friend. Unlike most of the people in town, she didn’t really look down upon them even though she knew some things about them Ben probably wouldn’t want her to know.

“Do you think Atlanta will be safe?” He didn’t answer and she frowned. “Daryl-“

“What?” He snapped.

“Are we even doing the smart thing? That’s what I’m askin’.”

“We’ll see-FUCK!” Daryl slammed on his breaks and the only thing saving Johanna from launching into the windshield was the tattered seat belt.

“AH!” She squeaked when they came to a sudden halt. Merle’s bike screeched and swerved but he was able to maintain control.

“You alright?’ He asked as she tried to control her heart rate.

“Yeah…yeah I’m fine. You?”

“Fine.”

“Bunny! You alright?” Merle asked, using the nickname that he’d given her who knows how long ago.

“Fine! Daryl’s good too!” She called back. The two got out of the truck to meet up with Merle. They saw the long lines of cars all going one way. People had even created their own lanes in the grass or on the shoulders to try and get to the city faster.

“Looks like we ain’t gettin’ in.” Daryl muttered.

“Where’s yer sense of adventure.” Merle cackled. Johanna looked up when choppers hovered overhead and towards the city.

“Guys-“

“Dammit Merle! How we gonna get outta this one now!”

“Don’ get frustrated with me, baby brother!” Merle snapped back. “I saved your ass back at the stadium so you better-“

“GUYS!” She yelled and they looked at her. “Those weren’t medical.” The brothers looked at her with their brows furrowed, but heard explosions and screams in the distance. All three looked back at the city as their faces were lit up with the bright lights from the city. Fire flew up from the ground and Johanna covered her mouth when she realized what they were doing.

“The hell?” Merle asked.

“They’re bombin’ Atlanta?” Daryl asked in frustration. Johanna shook her head in denial.

“They can’t be! There’s too many people down there…too many people trying to get in there!”

“They govment don’t care when it comes to national security.” Merle told her and cupped her shoulder. “Ben probably just saved us.”

“We gotta find another place to go.” Daryl said. “Nowhere too populated, don’t wanna chance those freaks comin’ to us.”

“Everywhere we’ve been has them crawlin’ everywhere.”

“Maybe we just don’t need to go that far?” Johanna suggested, coming out of her daze. “There’s a rock quarry maybe an hour and a half away from here.” Cars crossed the meridian and sped away as they conversed their next move.

“It safe?”

“Probably is. Not many people camped there before this. I went there a couple of times with a friend. It’s got a nice lake and everything.” She explained. The brothers looked at each other with wary looks and she put her hands on her hips. “What other plan do we have?”

“First thangs first before we do this, we need more supplies: gas, water, food, anythang we can get our hands on.” Merle began.

“Tents and shit. Don’t got enough room for all three of us in a truck bed.” Daryl added.

“I don’ mind gettin’ cozy.” Merle smirked.

“Well, I think Daryl has a great plan.” Johanna replied. “Any kind of weapon I think will help us out. Considering that the government’s pretty much given up on everything, it’s time to find what we can and defend ourselves.” The brothers nodded and Daryl motioned for her to go back to the truck.

“Doubt anyone thought to hit up some of the pharmacies in this shit storm! Try the CVS up the road!” Daryl called back and Merle started his bike up and headed the opposite direction.

XXXXXXX

They took their stock after their raids of a couple different stores. Everyone had thought to stock up on gas, but not much else. They had just enough food and bottled water to last a while.

“Got enough of yer lil’ girly supplies, Bunny?” Merle teased and she rolled her eyes.

“Yes, Merle.” She called back as she set more supplies in the back of the truck. She looked around the area to see if anything was coming their way. Her brows furrowed and she shook her head. She bent over and scraped her hair up into a high pony tail to sit on top of her head. A few loose strands of chocolate copper hair fell down but she could really care less given how hot it was.

“What’re ya lookin’ round for?” Daryl asked as he packed another water case into the bed.

“Those…corpses.”

“We got it.” He told her and she shrugged.

“I’m surprised there aren’t more out there.” She commented.

“Means they’re probably nearer to the city than anything. They’re attracted by the sound.” He said and she tilted her head at him.

“What else do you know about them?”

“Quarry, now!” Merle directed. They sat back in the truck and he started it up once more.

“Gotta hit them in the brain, only way they’ll die.”

“Yeah, figured.” She shrugged.

“They like noise and and can smell you. That’s really all I know about ‘em.” It was early into the next morning and Johanna was close to passing out. She hadn’t slept the last two, going on three, days.  She didn’t even want to look in a mirror at that moment. All she really wanted was to be alone in whatever tent she was given. They only found two that wouldn’t take up too much space. “Jo.” She looked over at him and he was still staring at the road smoking a cigarette.

“What?”

“Go to sleep, ya look like the dead.” He commented and she sniffed in laughter.

“Wrong choice of words.” She told him and one of his eyebrows quirked up.

“You okay?” He asked before he took another drag. She never minded the smell of smoke. Ben smoked in moderation so it never really bothered her much even though she had only smoked one cigarette in her lifetime.

“I will be.”

“He was a good guy. Thought if anyone would make it, he would.”

“I thought that too.” She sighed. “I miss him. I know you miss Uncle Jess too. He was a good guy and I liked him a lot.” He just grunted and threw out his cigarette. She nodded and leaned her head against her seat and closed her eyes. She fell asleep almost immediately even though the motorcycle was incredibly loud.  She dreamt of memories and what life was like. She dreamed of her future and how bright it looked and how lost it was.

Daryl glanced over at Johanna and pressed his thin lips together. He wondered if this was her way of coping with everything. She was unusually quiet and didn’t seem like she wanted to be around anyone. He felt sorry for her but if she could make it through day one, she could make it through the whole thing. However long that lasted.

XXXXXXX

“Johanna, wake up!” Daryl grabbed her shoulder and shook her up from her hour long nap.

“Wha-what?” She asked and sat up straight. She saw cars and tents in the quarry and groaned. “Looks like I wasn’t the only one.”

“Seems like it.” People looked at the two vehicles coming into the quarry and Daryl reached back to grab his crossbow. Johanna looked closer at the camp and slapped a hand to his arm.

“Wait, they have kids!” She warned. It was early in the morning, probably around seven, when they came up to the quarry. A man with black curly hair came towards them and Daryl put down his crossbow. “Come on.” Johanna got out of the car first and the Dixons joined her, one on each side.

“Hello.” The man greeted in his southern drawl. Johanna looked as they were surrounded by the people in the camp. Merle had his hand over his gun and she looked over at him and gave him a look. They wouldn’t try to hurt them with kids around, right?

“Hello.” She greeted back. “So…I didn’t think a lot of people knew about this place?”

“That’s what I thought too. Apparently we were both wrong.” He replied and she chuckled. “I’m Shane Walsh.” He stuck his hand out and she took it.

“Johanna Snow.” She replied and looked back at the two brothers. She rolled her eyes and elbowed Merle.

“Merle Dixon. This is my brother, Daryl.” He replied but didn’t shake Shane’s hand. The rest introduced themselves fairly quickly.

“Hi.” Said a shy little girl.

“Hello there.” Johanna greeted softly. “What’s your name?”

“Sophia.”

“That’s one of my favorite names.” Johanna replied and Sophia smiled.  
“Get back here, girl.” Her father ordered and Sophia cringed. Johanna looked over at Daryl and he almost snarled at the father.

“So, y’all tried to make it to Atlanta too?” Lori asked.

“Tried but it didn’t go so well.” Johanna explained.

“Well, you can stay here as long as you’d like just as long as you can contribute.” Shane replied.

“We can certainly contribute!” Merle replied with a smile. That was very out of character for Merle and Johanna knew it.

“Every little bit helps.” Dale smiled.

“Well, Merle can fix cars and Daryl can hunt-“

“You can hunt?” Jacqui asks and Daryl looked like a deer in the head lights.

“Yuh.”

“That’s amazing! Our prayers have been answered.” Daryl just grunted.

“What about you, Miss Johanna?” Carl asked.

“I have some practice in the medical field but-“

“I think we’re all set!” Jim praised and the group laughed. “You can set your tents up anywhere.”

“Come on, baby brother! Let’s go set up tent and have a chat.” The brothers let Johanna alone and she just glared at Merle. Something wasn’t quite right with this situation. It wasn’t because of the new people though.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the group and Johanna get to know each other, Merle gets Daryl in on his plot to steal from the camp and leave them all behind.

The group continued as usual, but that didn’t mean they kept a close watch on the new comers. All of the people that were there before had been close together waiting in the line to get into Atlanta. They didn’t know each other before then, but they were able to trust each other and Shane had suggested the quarry. The brothers were more what they were worried about and they wanted to know more about the girl they were with. Was she there by force? How did she know them? They weren’t able to ask the day before since the girl turned in as soon as her tent was up. She looked like she hadn’t slept in days.

Johanna moaned a second before she opened her eyes to be greeted by the bright blue tent wall. She stretched and rubbed her nose. Dried mucus came with it and she gagged a little. She rinsed out her eyes of the dried tears in the corners and rubbed her entire face to try and make herself seem at least approachable. She reached into her bag and pulled out a Merlotte’s (the restaurant) t-shirt and some tan shorts. She slipped on some Converse and brushed her hair out. She took a deep breath, and prepared herself for interrogation.

The sun greeted her painfully and she quickly shielded her eyes. She heard a dark chuckle and turned to see Merle next to her tent.

“Ass.”

“Come on, Bunny!” He chuckled and smacked her back. She rolled her eyes and pulled half of her hair back.

“Where’s Daryl?”

“Still sleepin’.” He replied. “I think they’re still checkin’ us out from yesterday.”

“Not surprised. You seemed a little too chipper yesterday.” Merle just smirked and shrugged, making Johanna furrow her brows at him.

“Just thankful that’s all.” He replied.

“What’s goin’ on?” Daryl asked and rubbed one of his eyes. Johanna leaned over to fix a couple pieces of hair that were sticking up in the air, but he flinched away and she backed off.

“You alright?” she asked.

“What’re you doin’?”

“Just tryin’ to fix your hair is all.” She replied and he nodded. “Just talkin’ about the camp.”

“Just be careful. You start to get a bad feelin’ you tell one of us.” Daryl instructed her before he grabbed Merle to talk to him. She shook her head at them. Something was going on and she knew in her gut they were planning something.

“Johanna!” A voice called. She turned to find Amy jogging towards her. “How are you?”

“Um, I’m okay.” She replied warily.

“Would you mind helping us with some laundry?”  

“Can I wash ours from yesterday?” She asked and Amy chuckled.

“Yeah, it’s no problem! Meet us down by the lake, alright?”

“Sure thing.” Johanna went back into her tent to grab the clothes from yesterday. She went over to the tent the brothers shared and called them out. “Need us to wash some clothes?”

“Nah.” Daryl replied and walked back inside.

“Well, Johanna, thanks for offerin’.” She mumbled and walked down towards the lake. She saw all the women gathered around and sat down next to Amy. The lake was a gorgeous shade of blue that she thought wouldn’t last. She had seen it before, and it was just as beautiful as it was before. All she wanted to do was to go to the highest point of the cliff and dive straight in. “Dixons passed on this one.” The women nodded and Johanna looked around. “Where are the guys?”

“They’re working on other things.” Lori replied. “They check on the cars, check the area, y’know just make sure we’re ready to go.” Johanna nodded as she grabbed a shirt and began cleaning it.

“So, what did you do before all this? We know it was something medical.” Jacqui began.

“Well, y’all didn’t let me finish. I’m _kind of_ in the medical field.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Andrea asked. Johanna chuckled and pushed some strands of hair out of her face as she scrubbed a shirt.

“I’m a pathologist.” She explained and the women were silent. She looked up from the shirt and at the women. They were just staring at her and Johanna’s heart sank. “Does that mean I have to leave?”

“What? No! Of course not, honey!” Jacqui chuckled.

“It’s just…why?” Amy asked and Andrea pushed her. Johanna laughed and shook her head.

“I always liked learning about the body, I just didn’t like people all that much. So I got a scholarship, paid for my apartment and shit, and found a residency at a hospital. It’s actually not as bad as you think and is a relatively sanitary job if you can believe it.”

“You have a stronger stomach than me then.” Lori commented and the women laughed.

“What about y’all?” Johanna asked.

“Stay-at-home mom.” She answered.

“Same.” Carol replied quietly.

“Lawyer.” Andrea said next.

“College!” Amy piped up and Johanna laughed. She already liked Amy more than anyone.

“City zonin’ department.” Jacqui answered. “But you probably have the most interestin’ job outta all of us. Workin’ ‘round dead people and all.”

“Well, it might help me negotiate now.” She replied and they chuckled.

“So, are you related to the Dixons in some way?” Lori asked and Johanna shook her head.

“Only family I had was my brother.” He would’ve loved the rock quarry. He would’ve thought it was so peaceful, the perfect place to unwind.

“What happened to him?” Carol asked and Johanna narrowed her eyes at the pair of jeans she was washing. Carol looked at the other women but they figured out what had happened.

“He, uh, didn’t make it. I don’t want to talk about it if that’s alright.”

“Of course.” Jacqui cooed.

“So…are you Merle’s girlfriend or something?” Amy asked and Johanna accidentally dropped the jeans into the lake.

“What? No! He’s older than my brother!” Johanna replied and the women laughed hysterically. “No, no, no, no, no…no.”

“I just…I heard him call you Bunny this morning.”

“Oh that? He’s been callin’ me that for as long as I can remember. He and my brother were pretty tight so he’s known me for a while but I didn’t get to know them until I was seventeen. I think he’s been callin’ me that since I was a baby.” Johanna explained.

“What about Daryl then? He’s closer to your age. Are y’all dating?” Andrea asked and Johanna shook her head again.

“No. I think I know what y’all are tryin’ to find out and I wish you would just ask. They took me in because my brother asked them to. So they did.” Johanna explained in the abridged version of their story.

“You just don’t seem like the type of girl to know guys like them. They seem pretty rough.” Lori replied and Johanna nodded understandingly.

“From where I’m from, you get to know a lot of people. Yeah, they’re rough but they’re good guys.” She said but kept thinking back to Merle’s unusual behavior. “Again, I’ve known them for a while and my brother trusted them.”

“So, how did you get to know them?” Amy asked and wrung out the jeans that Johanna had dropped into the water.

“I was a waitress at a bar for a while when I was a teen and during the summers of college to get some extra money to pay the bills. They were one of the usuals and we just kept touch.” She explained.

“Well, we’re glad y’all are here. It’ll be nice havin’ someone who knows how to stich people up and a hunter around. And another mechanic while we’re at it.” Lori interjected with a small smile.

XXXXXXX

“Merle-“

“Did ya at least think about it?” Merle asked as they sat in their tent.

“I did, I jus’ don’t know.”

“It’ll be super easy! They won’t know what hit them!” The older Dixon snickered. “’Sides, we gotta look after ourselves. Same as before, lil’ brother.”

“What about Jo?”

“She’ll come with us, of course.” Merle relaxed in his cot and Daryl shook his head.

“Ya thank she’ll come with us after we steal all their shit?” Daryl asked and Merle shrugged.

“She can stay here then.”

“We promised Ben we’d look after her.” Daryl defended.

“Well, Ben ain’t here.” Merle replied as he stretched.

 “Ass.”

“Watchu say, boy?” Merle sat up.

“Ya heard me.” Daryl snarled. “We doin’ this, Johanna won’t come with us.” Merle shook his head and ran a hand over his head.

“She’s probably gettin’ real cozy with them right now doin’ all that damn women’s work.”

“Ben was our friend.”

“Look, y’know I’m all eat up about Ben. I’m jus’ thankin’ about what he would want us to do. He’d really want us to survive. ‘Sides, I thank ya just wanna get yer dick wet, little brother.” Merle smirked. “Young lil’ thang like her always churned yer butter.”

“Ain’t like that, Merle!” Daryl defended.  Daryl wanted to throw something across the obnoxiously pale tent. Or throw something at Merle.

“It’s her or us! We cain’t keep her around, she’ll get us killed and ya know it!” Merle replied.

“She can defend herself Merle!”

“She can defend herself from getting’ her lil’ ass pinched, not bein’ killed by those geeks out there.” Daryl shook his head and gritted his teeth together. “C’mon, Darlina, yer getting’ soft on me. It’s all about survival now.” Daryl grunted in response and walked out of the tent with his crossbow slung over his shoulder. He heard laughing coming from the pond and walked over to the edge of the hill where he saw Johanna smiling with some of the women. That black woman, Jacqui, reached over and grabbed her shoulder lovingly and with a warm smile.

“Can we help?” Shane asked and Daryl turned. This ‘Deputy Dipshit’ didn’t scare him in the slightest.

“Jus’ lookin’ for Johanna. Makin’ sure she’s alright.”

“Are you two toge-”

“No.”

“Oh, alright.” Shane nodded and ran a hand through his hair. Shane looked over at his tent and sighed. “Shit.” He ran over and grabbed one of his shirts before he skidded down the hill.

“Shane, wait up!” Carl yelped and ran with him. Daryl looked back at Johanna, then all the things these defenseless people had. It would be too easy to take this stuff from them. He’d dealt with harder robberies. But this wouldn’t be a robbery, this would be the eminent death of all these people…and Johanna.

XXXXXXX

“Wait up!” Carl yelped and Johanna turned to see Shane and Carl running towards them. Shane halted and Carl ran into him, making her giggle.

“Something happen?” Lori asked worriedly. Shane held up his uniform with an apologetic smile.

“I forgot this.” Johanna stood up and took it from him.

“I’ll wash it since I messed up your system.” She offered to the women. Carl looked up at her with big eyes and seemed awe struck. “Hi there, cutie!”

“H-hi!” He blushed and she turned to walk back to the lake.   
“Thanks. Lori, can I talk to you for a minute.” Lori nodded and stood up on her bird-like legs to walk up with Shane. Carl didn’t move as he stared at Johanna. The woman snickered and Shane pulled Carl away with a chuckle of his own.

“Looks like Carl has a new crush.” Andrea commented and Johanna laughed.

“He’s a little too young for me. Maybe in twenty years.” She replied as she began to wash the uniform.

“How old are you?” Amy asked.

“Twenty six.”

“Wow, you look like you’re 21!” Andrea marveled.

“Um, thanks?” Johanna chuckled.  It was almost amazing how fast the group had started a system. They had only been there a day and seemed to be functioning like a well-oiled machine.

XXXXXXX

Everyone’s paper plates almost couldn’t stand the weight of the beans and rice. The plates were flimsy and almost didn’t do the trick. Johanna almost wasn’t able to balance it in her lap for fear of it ripping in half.

“The church wasn’t so generous on buyin’ the good kind of plates.” T-Dog told everyone but they all replied that the plates would suffice. Johanna smirked to herself when she remember how often Ben and she would eat red beans and rice because they didn’t have that much money for anything before he joined the motorcycle gang with Merle. With him being a mechanic, all of his money really had to go towards paying the bills. With whatever he was doing with the gang, they actually had some leisure money. She really hadn’t seen the brothers all day and had been spending most of her time with the people at the camp.

She really liked Dale. He had some interesting stories to tell and seemed to just be a nice man overall. She already had a soft spot for T-Dog and thought he was funny as hell. She knew Carl had a crush on her because every time she saw him, he would be staring at her with stars in her eyes. Lori had to call his attention from across camp to get him to stop staring. Carol was quiet, as well as her daughter. She already didn’t like Ed as he made sure none of them got too close to the group and even went as far as to set up their own little fire while he smoked like a damn chimney.  Shane seemed nice enough, she thought that maybe something was going on between him and Lori but didn’t bother asking. She didn’t want to pry on her first day.

Jacqui really made her feel better, even though she was still having a hard time just trying not to think of Ben. Jacqui had that warm smile a mother might have, but Johanna didn’t really know much about that.

“Miss Johanna?” Carl softly asked. Johanna was pulled out of her thoughts and looked at the boy across the fire.

“What’s up?”

“Um, would you mind getting those guys you came with for supper?” She smiled and nodded. She set down her plate on one of the tables and looked over at Sophia and Carol, who didn’t have any food. She looked back down at her plate and picked it back up before she walked over to the Peletier’s private fire.

“Here you go. I noticed y’all didn’t have any and I got way too much!” She smiled at Sophia, who giggled and reached over to the plate. She side eyed Ed who glared at her with disgust.

“Thank you!” Sophia replied softly.

“Don’t mention it, honey. Just remember to share that with your momma.” Johanna winked and turned to see the Dixons coming towards her. Daryl glared behind her at Ed but Johanna didn’t look back.

“Supper’s ready.”

“I can tell! I’m starvin’!” Merle yelped and grabbed a plate.

“I haven’t seen y’all all day. Is everythin’ alright?”  
“Fine, Jo.” Daryl grunted. “Don’t worry about us.”

“But-“

“We got it, Bunny.” Merle told her with a smirk. She shook her head and grabbed another plate for herself. She looked to see Sophia and Carol digging into their plate. Johanna only gave herself a little this time around as Jacqui had piled hers high, telling her she needed some more meat to her bones. Johanna sat back down next to Amy and Andrea as she listened to Glenn tell a story about the time he and his friends tried to get into a bar when they were eighteen.

Later that night, most everyone had turned in after they cleaned up their dinner. Johanna was still at the fire, staring at the embers and the wood crackling underneath them. Someone shook her shoulder and she looked over to see Dale looking down at her.

“Do I need to leave?”

“Who did you lose?” He asked and sat down next to her.

“They didn’t tell you?” She sniffed in laughter.

“I don’t listen to all that gossip.” She smirked a little before she answered his question.

“My brother, right before I left or Atlanta with the Dixons.”

“What was his name?”

“Ben.”

“What about your parents?” She just shrugged. She didn’t like to talk about her mom or her dad. Especially her mom. “See, I would think you’re usually an open book.”

“How’s that?”

“You just seem so cheerful with the others, but you close up as soon as someone asks you things that are ‘too personal’.”

“There are just some things I save for later, Dale.” She told him. Not in an angry way, she wasn’t angry at the older man in the slightest. He just wanted to get to know her better, that was all. “I’m sure you have things like that.”

“I do.” He nodded and fixed his fishing hat. “I don’t like to talk about my wife, but I do. I guess I’m an open book as well.”

“How about I’ll tell you some things later? After I know everyone a little bit better?” She bargained.

“Deal.” He smiled. She stood up and told him goodnight. She saw Daryl standing outside his tent while smoking a cigarette and she walked over to him.

“What the hell’s goin’ on with you two?”

“Whaddya mean?”

“You know what I mean, Daryl.” She rolled her eyes.

“Don’ need ya gettin’ on my back, Jo.” He shook his head and threw his cigarette to the ground before stomping on it angrily.

“Seriously, Dixon?” She replied in annoyance. “Merle’s been actin’ weird for the past two days and you tell me that I need to get off your back?”

“You don’ trust us?”

“Not when you’re actin’ like this.” Daryl sighed and looked at her as he picked at his nail with his fingers. That little voice at the back of his head screamed at him to let her know what Merle was planning…what _they_ were planning. She would be able to talk them both out of it. Let them know that these were good people. She could probably get through to Merle.

“We’re jus’ tryin’ to make sure we’re gonna be alright here.” He lied.

_Good job, Darlina. Dad would be proud of ya._

“That’s it?”

“That’s it. We’re just tryin’ to be careful. That’s all.”

_Jus’ a lil’ more and we’re in the clear._

“You swear? Merle isn’t going to get outta control?”

“I swear, Johanna. For God’s sake get some rest.” He told her and she pressed her lips together.

“Goodnight Daryl.”

_There we go._


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johanna's nightmares continue and a certain member of the group takes notice. She continues to make friends with the people at the quarry while the Dixon's continue to isolate themselves and continue to plot their escape. With Daryl still conflicted about the notion, he butts heads with Johanna and leads to an argument between the two.

_She wasn’t sure where she was, but everything was dark around her. She felt chains around her wrists and she desperately pulled against them. She whimpered and realized she was gagged. Hot tears ran down her face as she looked down at her tattered clothes. She heard groaning in a nearby corner and froze in her movements. A walker straggled out and turned its head as it looked at her. But this wasn’t an ordinary walker._

_“B-Ben?”_

_A groan answered back and she sobbed and tried to get through to him. Calling his name, his nickname, begging him to become normal again, to be alive. Ben fell to his knees and grabbed her by the shoulders. At first, she screamed out for him to stop. Then, she started screaming out for Daryl to come and save her. She felt Ben’s teeth grazing her neck-_

Johanna snapped up on her cot. She was soaked to the bone with a cold sheen of sweat and tears rolling down her face. She breathed hard and willed herself to calm down.

“It’s not real, Jo. It’s not real.” She whispered out. She tucked her knees up to her chest and let her head hang down as she tried to get a grip. “He’s dead. He’s not coming back.” She wasn’t sure how that was supposed to comfort her, but it seemed better to think that he wouldn’t come back as one of those things. 

She smoothed her hair back and away from her face. She had some nightmares before, but this one was totally different. It all felt too real for her to manage, like it was actually happening to her. She could feel the rotten teeth against her neck. She looked up from her lap and blankly across her tent. She could tell it was morning, but it was probably too early for anyone to be up. She was wrong.

“Johanna?” A voice asked. “Are you alright?”

“I’m…I’m fine.” She called back. The tent unzipped itself anyway and Dale’s face softened when he saw the redness and puffiness under her eyes.

“Oh, sweetie.”

“I’m fine. Please just go away.” She begged him. “I just had a bad dream, Dale. Seriously, I had them a lot even before this. This isn’t uncommon.” That was a lie. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“I was keeping watch.” He corrected.

“Sorry for bothering you then.” Dale didn’t move and she shook her head as she sniffed away her tears. “Please Dale, just go away for right now. I just wanna go back to sleep.”

He sighed, but got up and walked out of her tent. He zipped it back up and walked back to his post. Johanna grabbed a towel she had packed and began to wipe the sweat of her skin. She brushed her hair out of the mess it was in and slipped into another pair of shorts and a t-shirt. She laid back down on her bumpy cot and pinched the bridge of her nose. Her eyes almost burned and it hurt to just close her eyes.

XXXXXXX

Daryl walked out of his tent that morning and saw that a few people were already up. He walked over to the RV to grab his breakfast. His plan was to go off on his own and just leave the rest of them to talk but “golden pond” wasn’t having any of that.

“Son, I need to talk to you.” Daryl glared at the older man but Dale lifted his hands up as a peace offering. “Just a couple of minutes. It’s about Johanna.”

“What ‘bout her?” Daryl looked around the camp and didn’t see Johanna anywhere. His brows furrowed and looked back at Dale. “She alright?”

“I don’t think she’s handling her brother’s death as well as you might think. I heard her crying in her tent this morning. When I walked in, she was sweating and looked like she had seen a ghost. I just thought I would let you know, seemin’ like y’all are close and all.”

“Thanks, old man, but I think I can look after my own.” Daryl replied and stalked away. He saw Johanna coming out of her tent and sighed. He turned back around and fixed another plate before walking over to her. She was wearing an oversized t-shirt Ben had given her because she had stolen it from him so much. He always heard Ben “complaining” about it when she did steal it. It was one of those old band t-shirts with AC/DC on the front. She looked up at him with a small smile and he gave her the plate.

“Thanks.”

“Don’ mention it.” He replied. Daryl actually thought back to what Dale said and was about to ask her about what happened.

“Didn’t get me a plate, Darlina?” Merle cackled and smacked his brother’s back.

“Mornin’.” Daryl grumbled and Johanna smirked at the brothers. Merle walked to get his food and whistled at Andrea.

“Hey there sugar tits.” He greeted and Johanna gasped.

“Merle!”

“Wha?”

“Don’t talk to her like that, ya ape!” She scolded. “She has a name!” Andrea looked over at Johanna, shocked at her little outburst.

“I think if she has a problem she can tell me.” Merle replied and Johanna crossed her arms.

“Shit.” Daryl whispered to himself. It was never a good sign when Johanna crossed her arms and shifted her weight to one leg.

“No one appreciates a nickname like that, asshole.” Merle just rolled his eyes, grabbed his food, and walked back to his tent.

“Thanks.” Andrea told Johanna.

“Not something I haven’t dealt with before.” She replied and was about to walk away but Daryl finally listened to that little part in the back of his brain and grabbed her arm quickly. She turned back to him with a confused look on her face. “What?”

“Are ya alright?” She looked at him for a moment or two, then nodded her head.

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

“Jus’ makin’ sure.” He told her. “I think we’re gonna go huntin’ today.” He started to walk away but she came after him.

“Wait up!” She whispered harshly and grabbed his arm. He spun around quickly and pulled his arm away from her.

“Whut?”

“What if… what do you want me to do if something happens?” She asked almost painfully. Daryl shifted his weight and thought for a moment or two.

“Take the truck, go back to the CVS. We’ll find ya there.” Johanna nodded and she squinted from the sun blinding her.

“Alright. Y’all be careful.” She told him before she went to go sit with Andrea.

“Is Merle always like that?” She asked as more people began to emerge from their tents. It was already scorching hot so Johanna could tell that maybe the black t-shirt was a bad idea.

“Sometimes. He was never like that with me, but that’s only because he’s known me since I was baby.”

“Your brother must’ve been quite a bit older than you.” Amy interjected and sat down next to her sister. “Me and Andrea are twelve years apart.”

“Got you beat. My brother and I were fifteen years apart.” Johanna smiled and the sisters laughed.

“Wow, so you’re a late baby!” T-Dog commented as he sat in one of those cheap plastic chairs where the white was brown and the yellow looked green.

“My parents were young when they had Ben. My mom was seventeen, my dad was eighteen.” She revealed and ate some more of her breakfast. “So, in the normal sense, I’m not a late baby. But in my situation, I was _really_ late.” The people around her chuckled.

“I had Carl when I was pretty young too.” Lori said.

“Oh? How old was Shane?” The group went silent. _Shit_. Shane started shaking his head with a small laugh.

“Uh, ain’t like that.”

“Oh! I’m sorry! I just thought that…I’ll go to my tent now to try and regain my dignity.” Johanna said and got up. Jacqui pulled her back down with a warm smile.

“My husband, Carl’s father, was actually a sheriff. He was shot on duty and was in the hospital when this all happened. Shane was his partner and best friend. When he went to go get him…”

“I’m so sorry Lori. I didn’t mean to pry.” Johanna replied softly.

“Where’re those Dixons?” Jim asked.

“They were goin’ huntin’ today.” She answered. “I dunno when they’ll be back.”

“So, what happened to your parents?” Dale asked and Johanna almost glared daggers at him, but restrained herself.

“Um…well…I don’t like to talk about it. It happened a long time ago.” She looked down at the dirt and some floated from the ground. She rubbed her own arm and prayed to anything that they wouldn’t ask her anymore questions.

Anything wasn’t on her side that day.

“Was it an accident?” Carl asked suddenly and Lori sent a pointed look to him.

“Carl!”  
“No, two separate events.” Johanna explained gently but didn’t go into any more detail than that. She didn’t know these people, she wasn’t going to let them in her life that easily. Especially with something as agonizingly painful like her parents.  “Again, I really don’t like to talk about it.”

“That’s fine, sweetie.” Jacqui told her. “So, the Dixons are good at huntin’?”

“Yeah! We would buy their kills from them for the bar I worked at.” She replied. “Always good with the right seasoning, especially some Tony Satcharies.”

“You’re in luck, we have some of that in the RV.” Dale smiled.

“What’re the plans for today?”

“Eh, just dabbling into everything I guess. Might go check the water supply.” Shane answered.

“Actually we’ve been meaning to ask you something.” Morales started. “How good are you at math?” Johanna’s brows furrowed and saw the Dixons wandering into the woods out of the corner of her eye.

“Be careful!” Dale called out but the brothers didn’t say anything.

“I’m pretty good. I’d do problems for fun sometimes, as lame as that sounds.” They all chuckled and Lori nodded.

“Well, do you think you could tutor the kids?”

“Of course, I would love to! Just tell me when.”

“I guess sometime before dinner.” Miranda Morales replied. Eliza and Louis sat next to her and groaned at the thought of math. Johanna had to think of how she was going to be able to teach these different grade level kids their math. Carl and Sophia would be easy, the rest not so much.

XXXXXXX

“Okay you two, what’s this that keeps on going in both directions without stopping?” Johanna asked as she drew on the graph paper. The sun was finally setting for the day but there was still enough natural light to finish up an introduction to geometry. She had taught Luis, who was six, about counting time and money. She had taught Eliza, who was ten, about adding and subtracting.

“Um…” Carl flustered as he looked away from his new teacher.

“A line.” Sophia replied quietly.

“Awesome!” Johanna reached across the small table and high fived the young girl, who beamed at her praise. “Alright, what about this one where it stops on one side, but continues on the other side?” She drew it quickly and Sophia raised her hand. “Let’s see if Carl can get this one, alright sweetie?”

“C’mon Carl, _I_ know the answer.” Sophia bragged and Johanna giggled. Johanna slipped some of the hair that had slipped from the clip at the top of her hair back so that her bangs weren’t slicked to her forehead. 

“A ray?” He replied, unsure of his answer.

“You got it, cutie.” She high fived Carl and he blushed. “Only one more and we’re done for today.

“I like this, though.” Sophia whispered.

“We’ll do it again tomorrow, don’t worry.” Johanna cooed.

“Were you a teacher?” Carl asked and she shook her head.

“I was a pathologist.”

“What’s a pathologist?” Sophia asked.

“Well, I…hm, I worked in a hospital and…I cut…I worked with….people.” Johanna stumbled, but that seemed sufficient to the twelve year olds.  “Alright, back on topic you two. She drew another line. “What’s this one with both side that end at a definite spot?”

“Line segment!”

“Alright, guys, A pluses for the both of you! Go find the other kids and leave me alone to grade!”

“Thanks Miss Johanna!” Carl replied and grabbed Sophia’s hand as they ran away.

“Be careful!” Johanna called out and shook her head. Maybe she had missed her calling as a teacher?

Johanna cleaned up the papers, the books, and put the pencils back into the Ziploc bag she had found. She walked back into the RV, put them in their rightful place, and walked back out to see T-Dog stirring a pot over the fire.

“Smells good.” She complimented.

“An old family tradition for a cheap box of food.” He replied and she laughed.   
“I know a lot of those.”

“Help me out sometime and I’ll teach you how to _really_ cook.” He joked and she pretended to be offended.

“You’ve wounded me, Theodore! How shall I ever forgive you?”

“After you try some of this magic stew right here.” He flashed that billion dollar smile and she laughed.

“Alright, alright. I’ll try it and you teach me some time.”

“Carl seems to have quite the crush on you. He seems to be hot for teacher.”

“He’s twelve, T-Dog! He can’t be hot for teacher.” Johanna sat down next to T-Dog and he let her taste the stew. “Oh, that _is_ good.”

“Toldya.” He smirked and she playfully punched his arm. “Would be better with some fresh meat in it.”

“The Dixons will bring some soon.” She replied. “But that’s good all by itself.”

“Learned how to cook from my church.” He replied. “Where did you learn?”

“One of the chefs at the bar and my brother.” She replied. “Lafayette was quite resourceful when I would go over to his house. He taught me how to cook on a budget so I wouldn’t starve in college.”

“Smart move.”

“It helped me out more than I can say.” They heard some rustling behind them and she spun around to see Merle stumbling out of the woods. She sighed, but felt panic rise in her chest when she didn’t see Daryl. She jumped up and jogged over to the eldest Dixon.

“Where’s Daryl?”

“Don’ worry ‘bout him. He’s still out there somewhere.” He almost slurred and she scoffed at him.

“Are you drunk?” She asked and he shrugged. “Dammit Merle.”

“Don’t ‘dammit Merle’ me, bunny!”

“Wait, you left Daryl out there alone?” She restrained herself from yelling at him.

“He’ll be fine! Don’t get yer panties in a twist!” Merle pushed her away and she grabbed his arm.

“We’re goin’ to your tent.” She told him and escorted him over to his cot. “Just lay down and sleep it off, ass.” He grumbled but then fell asleep. She reached into her tent and grabbed her baseball bat before she walked into the woods.

The Georgia woods didn’t really smell different than they did before. It was if it had been untouched by the dead, which was a good sign for Johanna and Daryl. She still kept her guard up as she stepped down on the vines and leaves in the dark, soft dirt. Birds were flying overhead and a few squirrels scurried away from her as she delved further into the wilderness. The sky was getting darker, but there was still light outside. She cursed herself for not bringing a flashlight, just in case the search lasted longer than she originally thought. She had only been out there fifteen minutes but she could feel her heart racing and the thought of losing another person was creeping up in her mind. She heard the rustling of bushes next to her and spun with her arms like springs, ready to release their power. Daryl popped out and glistened with the sweat on his forehead and arms.

“The hell are ya doin’ out here, girl?” He asked angrily.

“Makin’ sure your ass wasn’t dead since Merle left you out here drunker than Mick Jagger!” She defended.

“I told ya not to leave the group unless somethin’ happened!”

“You were out here _alone_! The dead are walkin’ around nowadays if you didn’t get the memo! Was I supposed to just leave you out here?”

“Ya were suppos’ ta listen to me!” He snarled.

“I brought my bat, I was ready and focused on fighting anythin’!” She replied. “Damn, I’m just tryin’ to make sure you don’t get killed since you got no one watchin’ your back!”

“I don’ need you watchin’ my back!” He replied. “What makes you think I can’t handle myself?”

“The fact that, again, the dead are walkin’ around and we don’t know where they are!” They suddenly became aware of their shouting match and Daryl grabbed her hand.

“Gettin’ back to camp before those things can find us. C’mon!” He pulled her with him as he stomped through the forest and back to camp. He let go of her wrist as soon as they got next to the RV and went to the wooden table to dress the squirrel and rabbits he had caught that day. She chewed her bottom lip in frustration before going over and fixing something to eat.   
“Are you gonna take some over to Mr. Daryl?” Carl asked. She held her tongue from saying anything too bitter to the young boy. She looked down at him and ruffled his unruly hair.

“I should.” She fixed some of T-Dogs stew in two paper bowls and silently set one down next to Daryl.

“Thanks.” He mumbled as he sliced into his kills.

“No problem. Merle’s in y’alls tent on his side. I’ll leave you be.”


End file.
